If Only...

There comes a time in life when you find meaning, when you find an answer. When the world makes sense, when the life finds purpose. And then... as easy at it came... the moment disappears..

You reach out. You scream. You run. You chase. But neither time nor fate are yours to control. They are free birds! And as fleetingly as the moment comes... it passes away..

And what is left is you. Barren. Empty. Incomplete... and yet... Hopeful!

It was a dream,

there's no other way to describe it

It was Damnation

He couldn't get out of it.

Those deep, dark eyes

that perfect, radiant smile

That knot in his breath

Like he had run a mile!

A voice that was music

The words that were a song

the night that was short

the days that're now long

The wide, gaping hole left

In a heart that cannot heal

The storm which arose

in a soul that cannot feel

A yearning that tears him apart

Every memory leaving him awake

The pain that was to part

Paths that he didn't take

A life, now meaningless

A hole, that sees no bottom

A soul, that must confess

Like leaves fall in autumn

A heart, that cries out loud

searching for a beat

A boat, which sails out

No thoughts of retreat

Yet, a Hope that it'll come

to pass in such a way,

For love, that'll bridge

Canyons that do not sway...

I couldn't find the right cookie... so i found two :D

Immortality is Death in itself....

"Everything that has a beginning has an end" .... stolen lines; strong lines! Something i have been trying to figure out for quite some time. Unless it disappears, it cannot be loved! Unless it is gone, it cannot be remembered! I do not think of the sun everyday.. That which is forever cannot love or be loved; it becomes unattached, immiscible and of too much use! There is no beauty in the daily.. it is the fleeting moments of life which i want to catch.. trap them in a box to be re-opened and unleashed once all is said and done.. because that is true freedom! To be able to look back and say.. Whoa! That was fun!

In death there is beauty

And hope is the pillar of all misery

The end is just a manifestation

Of a life long gestation!

In death there is light

Glowing embers of fire bright

The radiance of a dying star

The halo from afar!

In death there is immortality

The end in all totality

A moment to finally claim

All for which i am to blame!

In death there is freedom

The light of a setting sun

Final attempt of a God

Directing a lost son!

In death there is peace

All acts now cease

Time to look back relish

All i could accomplish!

Two cookies for sparing time...

The Protagonist

After several days of searching for a preface and then finally giving up.. i found these two very interesting quotes...

“I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I'm gone which would not have happened if I had not come.”
― Salman Rushdie, Midnight's Children

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

I am insignificant..
But a grain of sand
In the waves of the universe
Perhaps an apostrophe
In the creator's greatest verse

I am insignificant..
I last for a flicker
In the timeline of time
The last dregs of ether
In a casket of wine

I am insignificant..
A puny cog
In The Machine
No reins to the flow
A misfit in the scene

I am insignificant...
A tiny speck of light
In the flame of life
A forgettable page
In history's strife

Yet.. I am
The foundation stone
Of the song of creation
For me it was sung
To save me from damnation

Yet.. I am
With me all begins
For me it was wrought
All sins for me
And faith dearly bought

Yet.. I am
The master of MY fate
Sole owner of my ship
I take pride in mine
Be it all but a blip

I am..
The Protagonist
Around me all is spun
Fuel to the fire
Core to the sun

The world is a figment of my imagination, i change it on the whims of my mind....

Who has seen Forever?????

To start, a quote! from one of my favorite Characters...

"Most people think time is like a river that flows swift and sure in one direction. But I have seen the face of time, and I can tell you: they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm."

There is much i have come to realize from the past.. there is much that is written.. there is much that can be unwritten. There is nothing that can't be fixed.. there's nothing which can't be broken!!

Who has seen forever?

There is much that lasts through time long,
yet more which disappears in flash!
An oasis off by a furlong,
the ceaseless desert's lash!

No river that can't be crossed,
yet the seas can break your boats!
No mountain that can't be conquered,
yet not all men cross their moats!

To see that far away,
yet reflect the past!
to lie still ,
as the winter rushes fast!

Everyday a new beginning,
every night a dormant reaper!
Yet the sun shines anew every morn,
and the light of hope drills deeper...

It's a slow roast, time. Great teacher but doesn't spare the rod, ever!

Wings are not the key to Flying

I believe I can fly.. Words that changed the way I looked at life!! Once every few years there comes a day in your life which changes the way you think, the way you perceive, the way you understand, the way you love, the way you cry the way you stitch yourself in to the fabric of the universe!! I had such an experience a few days ago! Now I know I can fly!!! Yup.. All **Kgs of me!! And I have not words to express everything I felt at that moment... Everything I wanted to say.. Everything I wanted scream.. Everything I wanted to know and everything I wanted to say.. But here's what I could compile....

This is it...

Here I am..

at the edge of world

Looking down..

To the ground

Do I have it?

...to let go

.. jump to eternity

..leave behind woe

This is it! This is the moment

To be or not to be

To Not look back..

and take the leap..

Let my soul go free!!

There are these bonds which hold me back

There is this long trodden track

Snap off these ropes and let them crack!!

Throw this baggage off my back!!

I look below and freedom I see

My legs shiver to rebel

There is naught but open sea

And my boat is yet to level

A deep breath, a draught of air

To freshen up the mind

Shuffling feet; a staunch stance

And off I go... No rewind!!

I feel the wind

Against my face

I greet it with a smile

Freedom now,

I no longer chase

free from past so guile..

All that I was

is now no more

No trace of old history

This is me..

Here and now

And the future is a mystery

Behind my back, darkness dwells

No trace of that twas old

henceforth now the future swells

Clocks to zero rolled

Sometimes i feel you don't need the year to change to start afresh, a new sun is enough...

Sometimes i feel you don't need to forget the past to start afresh, a new thought is enough...

Sometimes.. just a little pat on the back triggers it.. sometimes you don't even need that.. but sometimes you need to push yourself off a cliff to figure out that YOU ARE FREE!! and that's when you

.............START AFRESH!!

cheers!!!

 

Killer songs... kind of reflect what i'm trying say.. maybe in better words :P

Sala 2014 aa Gaya... Mazak chal raha hai :/

The year has changed. Like it does once in every 365 days (lets ignore leap years for now... I'll come back to it later). So yeah, 2014!

Two things that didn't change this year is the direction of the solar cycle (good old Mr. Yellow sill came up from dead east, seems pretty adamant about it) and Mathematics (some how this subject still doesn't see the light.. What is wrong with this one? Creating issues with apples and oranges since times immemorial!!).

On the other hand, two things that did change are the ways in which the world perceives India's National politics (Kejriwal being the man of the moment) and Sachin leaving (c'mon.. I couldn't miss this guy, I'm Indian and I was born in the 90s he had all but an idol in the temple!!).

So what is the most obvious thing that comes to mind...

Change is Optional and Not a Compulsion!!

And when a change happens, you can't be super sure that it's the good sort.. Change is change.. It can be good or it can bad.. But you won't figure it out till later in the day.

Should that scare you? Does it make you feel that complacency is good? If it's going good, there should be no change? Well I say 'Bitch, Please!!' to that. If it's going good then it should get BETTER! It might get worse before it gets any better, yes, but I would prefer that to a scaredy cat approach! So next logical conclusion?

Change should be a Compulsion!!

So yeah.. Here's to change! If it's bad then Fuck It! And if it's good then Fuck Yeah!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Cheers!

Passing By....................

YAYYYYY!! First post of 2013!! :D
But i guess its too late to say 'Happy New Year' ;)

Now all of my previous blogs were about me blabbering on about something and hoping that in some vague, mysterious way I'll get through to at least one person. This time i want to try something new, let's see if i can get you THERE... actually see what i see through MY eyes... and yeah!! i really hope this doesn't come out to be an Epic Fail :-P

So, remember that  feeling you get from inside a train... 'The world is passing me by....'?? Well.. I've been feeling the exact opposite lately! I feel like flash... like the world has frozen around me and I'm rushing through it faster than light!! I guess this is what Ussain Bolt or Alonso see when for the flick of an eye they turn their heads and see the world as they rush past it.... I can't say much on that though, never been much good at running :-P

Vrooooom!!

I swim through life

not a care in the world

not a moment  of strife

as the curtains unfurl

I see all wavy lines

as i pass them by

i stretch from my confines

to catch them i try

I look back and see

all the moss i didn't gather

and i say it again to me

wouldn't i stick around rather?

To turn my back

onto all that i stumble

to live from a pack

and to say good-byes as i fumble

Memories are all i have

and even they begin to fade

as i fill my small space

with all that i want to save

There was no pause

where i didn't want to stop..

tried to search for cause

to set up my shop

The sands of time

fall free through my fingers

as if tis crime

to seal thought that lingers

To hold onto moments

to events that matter

woe to all that prevents

as i try give shape to water..

I know not how long

this journey will last

but bonds i made strong

that i know will hold fast

I cannot decide

if i wanna stop or go on..

change in my heart resides

but i don't want to move on

I'm drowning in the sky

am falling through the ocean

i let out a mute cry

and drain myself of emotion..

The wind rises and brushes my face

as i am lifted up again in the draft

the scenery slowly begins to fade

 and it is left behind in the dark...........................

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.” - Gerard Way

PT!!! Time Flies!! :-D